No, I’m the cool computer

In honor of Apple’s, “we’re cool like that” ad campaign, I’d better throw another log on the fire! Enjoy the the following:

With the recent court victories Microsoft is finding itself having to expose more of it’s operating system code to third parties. For instance, in Japan they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages.

Haiku poetry has strict construction rules -each poem has only 17 syllables;
5 syllables in the first line,
7 in the second,
5 in the third.

They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity.

Here are 16 [sic] actual error messages from Japan:

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you’re seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.